Break out Even More Root Beer: It's Time for the Best of 2020

Well guys, we did it. 

It's the last day of 2020, and assuming that Chronos will let us move on from this year I'd say it's time for the annual recap! Say what you want about the arbitrariness of calendar years or resolutions, but I always find it nice to remember and recenter around this time, and take a look back on all the things that happened this year in my art and life. So break out the root beer, break out the popcorn, and let's take a precisely 12-month drive down memory lane.

At the beginning of 2020 I chose the word "equipping" to be my theme word for the year. Standing on the precipice of January 2020, what I expected to cultivate this year was a lot of artistic growth and a growing preparedness for my Big Jump into the Real World of Animation in 2021. I hoped to put myself in a great spot to get hired and move out into a life away from dorms and cafeterias and such. Of course, 2020 did not go this way. Despite animation being one of the few industries that has adapted readily to remote work, planning for the future still became more complex. How could I network now? Or stay motivated to put out work for my portfolios? Instead of equipping for the future, the year became more about surviving the present.

So 2020's theme word gradually vanished from my mind, more due to the state of the world rather than my own forgetfulness (which usually is the culprit). However, that's not to say that this year didn't have a theme. As I was forced to stay home and given more time to pursue my own devices, a strong sense of wanderlust grew inside me. It may just have been an equal and opposite reaction to the stay-at-home orders, but it felt timely, giving me the courage to dream big even when plans kept failing. I was now filled with the desire to adventure, and seek new connections and opportunities. I started biking around town. Dreaming about living and working in places even more distant than LA. Although still scary and now more uncertain than ever, the future now held an allure full of potential. Even though I didn't get an internship and feel just barely more equipped than I did last year, I feel like this sense of wanderlust gave me a passion and drive that will help me face the heightened challenges of living and getting hired in a post-2020 world. 

Art-wise, this year was defined by the Character Design Challenge and my two short films. Although I did do some sketches and fanart, most of my non-school artwork this year was concentrated on the eleven entries I made for the CDC. I started in February, when I made a commitment to enter every month for a year. And with only two entries left to finish, I may actually keep that resolution! Although this project hasn't been great for my portfolio (turns out recruiters don't really want to see various unconnected character designs), it's been great for my artistic development and experimentation. With almost every piece I feel like I've been trying something new stylistically, and have developed new techniques, brushes, and insights along the way. While I'm disappointed that these pieces aren't totally portfolio-suitable, I think they've done much in helping me define how I like to draw while adding to a quality body of work. I'm proud of these pieces, and hoping to put them all in a purchase-able book next year.  

Aside from the CDC, most of my time has been focused on the creation of Good Boy Richard in the spring, and now my thesis film in fall. It's required a lot of endurance, as I usually like to dash around to multiple halfway-done projects rather than commit to bringing one to full completion. With each of these films, it's required months of sustained attention to one story and style while ignoring the many fun other ideas that pop up to provide ready ground for my procrastination... I think all this will be good practice for studio work, especially showrunning. I've been thinking a lot about if I'd still like to be a showrunner, especially given my experience on GBR. Even though I really enjoyed directing, it's a lot of pressure and anxiety to bear, even without a network or executives to disappoint! 

My biggest new artistic influence this year was probably Anna Scott. I love the shapes she uses, especially with her human characters. For many of her projects she employs a very organic rendering approach that echos traditional media, since she'll paint over mistakes rather than erase them. It gives the piece an inherently mixed-media feel which I really like, and it can be done using only a few layers. I played around with this approach on my later CDC entries.  I went through a BIG Stasya Sher phase during the summer, and although I haven't referenced her much recently, I wouldn't be surprised if I circle back to her art at some point. And of course, Saira Vargas, Louie Zong, and Nicholas Kole continue to be touchstones that I reference frequently. One thing I'd really like to work on in the new year is drawing inspiration from artists who are not Contemporary Animation Artists, but a little bit farther outside my usual circles. I did a good job balancing my fanart/original art ratio this year (last year's goal), so maybe I'll have some luck finding new (yet chronologically older) influences in 2021!

As to be expected, I can't fit a year's worth of happenings into a few paragraphs, so here's a bullet list that encompasses everything else I forgot to mention! ;) 

• Discovered a core artist community on Discord
• Saw Cory Wong in concert
• Drove to LA on a cross-country roadtrip and
• Saw the Grand Canyon!
• Was able to spend lots of time with family
• Nashville had one of its worst years ever with tornado, covid, tax hike, and a bombing
• The Roost is now two years old
• The Lipscomb Life Drawing Club is still happening and now going into it's third year
• Got hired to storyboard 
• Read more books than usual
• Wore a mask more than usual
• Began work on my thesis film (after a year of light concepting and script-writing)
• Got featured in animation news! (for ASIFA scholarship)
• Won multiple awards at the Five Minute Film Festival
• Got to be a "panel guest" for the first time (at Nashville Film Festival)
• Made it through pretty much an entire semester in person during a pandemic
• REALLY enjoyed autumn this year. Good trees, fine colors *chef's kiss emoji*
• Got to interview with Cartoon Network

And now it's time for my media picks of the year! As usual, these don't have to be released in 2020, but instead are selected for their importance to my life over the course of the year. I heard someone else call this kind of list a "First Watch" list, which seems fitting since this is the year when I "first watched" these things.

Movie of the Year: WolfWalkers

It's no secret that I'm a fan of animal movies, and Cartoon Saloon movies, so it's probably no surprise that this was my favorite movie of the year. It's a bit less melancholy and thoughtful than some of the studio's previous work, but supplemented with a bigger boost of action and adventure. You can read my whole post about it here.

Game of the Year: Night in the Woods

The story and graphics make me feel nostalgic for the 2010s even though I hadn't played it until this year and the 2010s aren't really that far away. This game just has such a nice vibe. For the record, Hades is a close second and has better gameplay, but since it didn't hit me in the feels it's staying in second. Hades also hurts my hands due to its incredibly tense combat, and I don't want to reward that kind of behavior. 

Show of the Year: Taskmaster

Quite possibly the first time a non-animated show has held this position for me! And although I really liked Ducktales (read any post from May 2020 if you don't believe me), inconsistent story quality and soft-soap endings are keeping the ducks from the top spot. Taskmaster deserves the attention for doing the unthinkable: getting me to watch an hour-long, life action show consistently (even avidly!) It's a delight to watch, surprisingly funny, and a defining feature of my television watching this year. I've just made it to season seven and I can confirm that it is the best season. Mainly due to the genius of James Acaster. But season 1 is great too, which is really fortunate since it's a good point to start watching. (You know, being the beginning and all.)

Book of the Year: Lord of the Rings

After a particularly stirring discussion during my regular gathering of pipe-smoking friends, I started reading the Lord of the Rings during fall of 2019. (I was also tired of feeling like a poser while referencing hobbits on this blog.) While this could count as a 2019 book, I wrapped the whole trilogy up just after the first couple weeks of lockdown. And man, I don't think there could have been a better time to pick up this series! It's a lush, masterful tale about endurance in the face of despair. If you've already watched the movies, the books still have so much more to offer. A lot of it are names and histories that I will have no hope of remembering, BUT you get a stronger bromance between Gimili and Legolas, a much more haunting depiction of the Army of the Dead, and more British pastoral goodness than is possible to fit in a two-hour film (or a trilogy of two-hour films). 

* * *

As with anyone, 2020 has been a rough one for me, especially Fall of 2020. So many people who made college special to me either graduated, moved away, or grew more distant. In addition to this lessening of community, I also had my most demanding academic semester between thesis and Philosophy of Religion. And although still being in school has protected me somewhat, Covid has created dozens of lost opportunities and additional challenges, especially when it comes to my career. Yet I'm still grateful for so many things in 2020. I felt like I've had a bunch of wins in my art, from getting features in the CDC and ASIFA to even being contacted by one of my dream studios! And I feel like I grew as a person, now more willing to take risks and live life to the fullest. 

That mindset - a relish for life - was I think the greatest thing I got out of 2020. With so much of the larger world thrown into uncertainty, I found it a lot easier to appreciate the smaller, day-to-day aspects. I gained a greater awareness for the everyday pleasures of good food, good friends, and bike rides. A life-changing Biology and Literature class this spring gave me greater ability to see and enjoy nature. Despite the many frustrations and sadness around, I felt my ability to enjoy life deepen. I don't know, but I guess this year showed just how many good things I take for granted, and so when zoos and movie theaters and tacos with friends returned, I knew just how special they were. And those worthy, little joys of life became the bright spots in an often dark year. I do hope things get better soon, but I don't hope to forget this year. Cause despite it all, God's still been faithful. And we're still here together. 

Wishing all you guys the best in 2021 - Thanks for sticking around :)

-dh

"They say our tree may never grow back, but one day, something will. Yes, these crackles are made of synthetic goose and these giblets come from artificial squab and even these apples look fake - but at least they've got stars on them. I guess my point is, we'll eat tonight, and we'll eat together. And even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals I've ever met in my life. So let's raise our boxes - to our survival."

-Fantastic Mr. Fox

The Customary Christmas Eve Post

HAPPY CHRIMUS EV'RYBODY!

It's my favorite night of the year and I'm am READY FOR IT. Though strangely a little less ready for Christmas Day? This year more than any has made the days blend together and homogenize a bit, and it's kinda strange to think that tomorrow we will wake up and there will be presents and donuts on reindeer-themed plates. Instead of just emails and homework and such. But perhaps that will make Christmas Day that much more exceptional, even surprising!

Especially in a year like this, I think it's important to keep the holidays and feasts that bring rhythm and remembrance to our lives. Although it's now easier than ever to take a pass on Christmas, or Halloween, or Thanksgiving, or what have you, I've been trying to build up as much spirit as possible and enjoy these seasons and the joy they bring. It's comforting to remember that despite the chaos of the year some things haven't changed: the soft lights of our 20+ year old tree, the cartons of eggnog in the fridge, my inability to draw antlers in perspective... 

On a related note, this year I skipped drawing reindeer, and drew a Yule Lad instead! I just happened to be watching the Yule Lads episode of Hilda today and these guys' antics are as delightful as their backstory is dark (you probably don't want to know what's in that sack). Also "Yule Lads" is fun to say. Or write? Or BOTH. 

kertasníkir the candle-snatcher (and eater)

This Christmas has and will be a difficult one for sure. But despite it all, sing those carols, light those candles, and DRINK THAT EGGNOG. These feasts and celebrations are powerful rebuttals to the sadness and brokenness that we so often encounter in this world. They proclaim that there is meaning in the midst of confusion, warmth in the midst of cold, and light in the midst of darkness. And if you aren't in a place where you can rejoice or feast, that is OK too. Christ's love is not reliant on your willingness to drink eggnog (though I do heartily encourage you to give it a try). 

May you know the hope expressed in Christ's coming, wherever it may find you.

-dh

A Very Special Holiday Music Recommendation: Just thought I would put my personal Christmas playlist out there in case anyone was interested. I've been listening to some other people's playlists this year, and it's fascinating to discover all the different wells of nostalgia we draw from. Mine is heavily Amy Grant, with a scattering of new favorites I've discovered over the past couple years. It also has ... three versions of The Christmas Waltz??? I will fixing that soon.

Frog Lady

 I'm back! And the semester is over! Thank goodness!

Or in particular, Philosophy of Religion is over! The day I turned in my final paper was one of much rejoicing, ice cream, and dancing. I also got very close to burning all my class handouts in our dorm's firepit. Then I realized that a student burning academic papers in broad daylight would probably not be a great look for the university. So I decided to refrain from that. Anyways, in an act of God's grace I somehow got a 93 on the paper, and my thoughts were able to turn toward more pleasant activities. Like gift exchanges! And smoking pipes with friends! And drawing tigers at the zoo!

When drawing at the zoo it often comes down to finding the right combination of materials that feel comfortable that day. I usually juggle pencils and pens and the Pad until something feels right, and then the drawings typically end up better. Fortunately, I can usually figure that out by the time I get to the tiger exhibit, and extra fortunately the tiger was right next to the glass both times I visited! I don't know exactly what inspired it, but this time I felt drawn to thick ink lines with a limited selection of colors underneath. I would begin by scratching the surface lightly with the brush for the undersketch, then build up to thicker lines as more of the drawing was completed. Even though this was all done with an ink brush (Jingsketch's Thin Ink), I made full use of the eraser (a big reason why I enjoy digital "inks" more than traditional ones). Anyways, these were fun to do and it was fun to be so close to a big cat while drawing. 

But enough about tertiary stuff. You've read the title, and you've put up with my excessively long introduction for too long. It's time for Frog Lady.

I actually made this piece a few weeks back but didn't post it because Instragram crippled their hashtag system for a frustratingly long time following the election. But now that hashtags are back to normal (as probably the only thing that will be "back to normal" during 2020) I've started to resume my usual posting schedule to get some art back out there! This happened to coincide nicely with the season finale of The Mandalorian, and so I wrote up my best attempt at a humorous caption and sent my version of the froggy lady out into the world. And as it turns out, there are a lot of frog lady fans out there! I had assumed this was a pretty niche favorite character to have (and she is my favorite Star Wars character, honestly) but I guess her charming practical effects, adorable little gestures, and irrepressible commitment to her family have universal appeal. So far, she is my most popular post and the closest I've come to "trending" or "viral." She reached the #2 spot on #starwars (screenshotted that for the scrapbook) and received sustained attention for about 2 whole days (much longer than the typical 8 hour life cycle for an Insta post). And the greatest honor was that Frog Lady herself (well, the actress who played her) saw the post and had kind things to say about it!

With a post doing this well, it gave me a lot to think about. When you post art online, this is the sort of thing you always hope will happen. I spend hours, often days on pieces that end up feeling like they had very little impact at all, and are barely seen even by my core audience. I use Instagram too, and I know how fast people zoom by incredible pieces of art because I do it myself, often. So when a post makes a slightly larger splash than usual, it can be really exciting. Every new follower is a jolt of dopamine. You watch the numbers tick up and hope the ball keeps rolling. I didn't even touch the post for a couple days for fear of messing up the algorithm. 

Is this what being a "big artist" feels like?

Cause I'm not so sure I like it. I treat Instagram pretty personally, and I care about the people who follow me. That means I try to respond to every comment I can think of an interesting reply to. When I get new followers, I want to welcome them and give them a chance to get to know me and my art. This takes time, usually a manageable amount, but when a post reaches this level it can take more time than I really want to give. If my posts were to do this well consistently, then I fear I would be forced to decide to engage less overall or spend even more time doing things that are not-art. When it came to followers, I've only been thinking about quantity. But now I'm starting to see the value of quality.

I appreciate that so many of my followers are people who care. People who comment on nearly every one of my posts. People who put up with weeks of inactivity on my part. I see you guys, and I'm thankful for you. It seems much more optimal to have a community like this, who is real and engaged and understanding, than a huge community that is largely apathetic towards what I seek to make. This post also comes in the wake of Instagram making some greedy algorithmic decisions, which have been weighing on me as Instagram is my main way of interacting with my online community. It seems more challenging than ever to be seen by potential new followers or even the ones you already have. And in addition to pleasing the masses, you must also please the developers/algorithm who somehow manage to be even more fickle. The path they promise to social media popularity seems ever changing, and ultimately detrimental to both creators and consumers. It trends toward frequent, short-lived, and banal content that tends to waste people's time.

That is not what I want to make. I want to make things that are good and beautiful. And if it comes at the cost of a smaller community who also cares about what is good and beautiful, I think that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. 

Anyways that's what I felt after posting Frog Lady haha! Always in for a fun time at the Roost, aren't ya? This was a long one, and likely one of the final posts of the year unless I return for my customary Christmas Eve post. We aren't doing our usual double church service marathon with a Jason's Deli stop in the middle (it's gonna be a strange Eve for sure) so I'll probably have more time to write something up. I've also started working on my usual year-end post but since I can barely remember February, it may take a while to finish it. Hope to see you then! And on Instagram, despite it all. 

Thanks for being a part of this community with me. :)

-dh

WOLFWALKERS

wolfwalker spirit

So I got the chance to see Wolfwalkers the other night, and (to quote the film) it was flippin' great. I've been looking forward to this film for a while now, worried that it wouldn't come to US theatres or that they wouldn't be open if it did. But the skies parted, our local art-house cinema reopened the very weekend Wolfwalkers debuted, and I got to see the film on the big screen in a theatre filled only by me and my friends. (Filled being a slight exaggeration - there were only about 6 of us, socially distanced across the entire room.) Yet it was SO FUN - the movie is so well crafted and a joy to watch. Rarely do you get to see a movie that truly develops animation as a medium but this is one of them. I loved how the animation and background style changes depending on whether we're in the town or the wild. I geeked out about how sometimes when a character moves quickly, their color takes a second to catch up with them. I was surprised by collage style compositions with grainy lines restricting the aspect ratios. Though predictable at points, this was honestly the most invested I've been in the story of a CS movie - it makes great use of abstract elements to build tension in a huge way. And it was so fun to once again get immersed in a magical world of Irish folklore courtesy of Cartoon Saloon. It's a movie that's captured my imagination in a big way, and I've been thinking about it this whole day (hence the fast turnaround on some fanart). 

And as you might have guessed, it's got me even more pumped up about trying to get to Kilkenny. Despite Covid, despite the Irish Government's confusing visa laws, despite my own faltering lack of skill - I want to be where people are taking chances and telling great stories. 

And where the woods are wild. 

-dh

Related Music Recommendation: Been jamming to this song from the Wolfwalker's soundtrack - hoping an official version will come to Spotify soon so I don't have to keep listening to it on Youtube.

Thesis Animation BEGINS!

 

Hi everyone, 

Today I began work on my first shot of my thesis film! So it felt like a perfect opportunity to mark the moment here on the Roost and post an utterly trashy photo of myself. Here you can see my Covid-stache in its full glory - wearing a mask has let me live my dream of looking like a vintage outdoorsman without other people pointing out that I look more like a suburban dad (which, admittedly, is true). 

And I'm holding up my notes/reference sheet for Blender, the software I'll be using to animate the thing! It's a whole new world for me, but after seeing the amazing work Worthikids has been creating in it I figured it had the chops for the kind of projects I'd like to do. And it's free! (you know I can't resist a good bargain). I've spent the better part of this week learning how to use the thing, and getting reacquainted with working in a 3D workspace (though the film will be 2D, I assure you!) For those interested in learning Blender for 2D, I've been watching this tutorial and that tutorial, in that order. And while I'm still not totally comfortable in the software, I've been making steps and I'm surprised by just how much this one program can do! 

I'm really close to officially announcing my thesis on social media - but I want to make a teaser poster first so I can really start building up some hype! To be honest this hype train may be a long one - I pretty much have no chance of finishing it while in school (sorry professors) but since I'm working in Blender I'll be able to keep working on it beyond school until it's done and ready to go. After counting up the shots from the animatic I've realized that despite my best efforts I've still been a little too ambitious... oh well. Guess I'll just do my best to stick to it and see it through. Hold me accountable bloggerfolk!

To that point I'd also like to start an email newsletter to keep people up to date on the film's progress (and share other cool things and art and music I've been enjoying). I'm trying to find a format that wouldn't conflict or overlap too much with what I do here on the Roost - especially for people who might be email subscribed to both! I could just do all the updates on the blog, but blogspot's email subscription service is a little clunky and I think it would be beneficial to have the newsletter just be its own thing. And I think I need to start something, since 2021 has the potential to be a big year with both the thesis and a little artbook (whaaaat???) on the horizon! And I want all y'all to know all about it and get excited with me! Anyways, you'll be sure to know if I do get something started up. And I still plan on posting here on the Roost regardless. I need somewhere ramble and post dumb pictures, after all! ;)

Thanks for sticking around and following my art journey - I can't wait for you guys to see this film!

May you continue to weather these times with grace, courage, and creativity.

-dh

Music Recommendation: This time of the year in Nashville brings me a particular kind of nostalgia that includes the video game Undertale, which I bought and played for the first time during this time of year, in Nashville, five years ago. (I guess that's how nostalgia works.) But anyways I've been listening to it's soundtrack again, and other video game music of the same genre/era. It's a niche love of mine for sure, but something about the chord progressions and 8-bit sound speaks to my heart in a way only chiptune can. And I'm looking forward to playing Undertale's sequel, Deltarune, during Thanksgiving break this year!

Wanderhome

made some over the garden wall fanart since I felt bad about having no new art for this post

One of the curious things about this whole Covid-time is that more than ever I've been filled with a desire to go out. I guess that's only to be expected when one is forced to stay in (and given a substantial amount of free time that can be filled with dreaming and doing). This summer I biked around the rural streets that surround our family home, each day going a little further, or down a new side street - anything to experience something new. I saw the Southwest desert for the first time. I worked my first little freelance boarding job and got to be a part of a real production. I had time to read and create portfolio pieces. Combine all this with last year's Lightbox trip (which felt like a deep dive into the animation world), and this past 12 months has been full of little hints of what the next stage of my life might be like - my life after college. So therefore I was a little surprised when I returned to college, found myself placed back into a familiar routine, and especially obligated to protect the health of our community, which means a limiting of excursions and travel around town.  This isn't to say I haven't had fun, or been totally dorm-bound (thank goodness). But I do feel the strong call of wanderlust, which as a patient homebody, is a somewhat new and thrilling experience. Read chapter 1 of The Wind in the Willows if you want to know what I mean.

I'm at a point in my life where I feel strangely unsettled, and I'm not sure that's such a bad thing. Sure, I don't love that most of my immediate and extended family has moved from the childhood homes where I spent many Thanksgivings and Christmases and Halloweens. And sometimes it gets a little lonely being single. But that also means that I feel more free to go somewhere new, to see more of the world, and to move away and really pursue this animation thing. 

Cause that's the kicker - throughout college I've known that I'll likely have to move away from Nashville and the familiar Southeast US in order to make a serious go at animation. And usually that's felt like a bummer. I do really love Nashville, Lake Norman, the Smoky Mountains, and all the people and places that surround them. But now? I'm actually kind of excited! The fact that I've been developing specialized skills which are in demand in all kinds of different places sounds like a great excuse to experience a new corner of the world. And since LA feels about as foreign to me as another country, I haven't even limited myself to US opportunities (really hoping international travel will be a little easier by the time I'm graduated). 

I'm sure a bunch of this is a classic case of "the grass is always greener on the other side," and perhaps when I'm actually confronted with the realities of a 9-to-5, making bosses happy, and finding an apartment I'll feel a little differently. I doubt I'll ever have another time where I get to live on a campus, where friends are so close at hand, and everything is within walking distance. Maybe you'll even see a Roost post in a year or so where I wax nostalgic about college. In fact, you probably will ;) I think even being able to think and write like this is a luxury due to having been in class for 9 weeks, and not fully realizing that we still could be sent home anytime. BUT right now I'm still more than a little romantic about having my own place, not having homework, and perhaps even walking beneath the parapets of Kilkenny Castle (if I get really lucky). 

* * *

If The Wind in the Willows has taught me anything, it's that there's always a push and pull between adventuring and home-craft, longing and contentment, creating tales and retelling them by the fireside. These twin impulses are both beneficial, dependent on each other, and take their turns in the life of every person. Right now I want to go. Sometime later I might want to stay. Both are good. I'm also trying to be fully aware that God may call me to stay right here in the American Southeast, and I gotta be ok with that. Cause at the end of the day, it's not about me or how cool it would be to see a Brisbane sunset. It's really about His kingdom, and serving it through my sketches and failed attempts (and blog posts). Wherever that takes me. 

May you continue to weather these times with grace, courage, and creativity.

-dh

Fall is Here and My Paper has been Written

 Hellooo bloggerfolk!

Been a while, huh? I've been a bit absent for the last few weeks, mainly due to the oppressive dread of having to write a 3000 word paper on religious philosophy. Usually I don't mind the fact that Lipscomb is not an art school, which means I have to take a decent amount of non-animation classes. But this semester I stumbled into senior level philosophy class and it has been a bit much to handle, especially because every minute I spend on it is time I'm not spending on my thesis film... which is pretty frustrating. I also haven't had to write a paper this long since high school, and just like high school the weeks leading up to writing the paper have been filled with procrastination, dread, and what feels like too many things to balance. Not gonna lie - I've had a kinda low last few weeks while I've been trying to get this paper written while still creating new work for thesis, and maintaining a social life. I've tried to make the best of it, using the paper as an excuse for me to read Madeleine L'Engle's Walking on Water (definitely worth a read, by the way!) But I can't escape the fact that it's just a massive amount of work to do for what is my lowest priority class. HOWEVER yesterday I finished the rough draft of this dumb-butt paper and I'm ready to have my life and time back again. And ready to write about things that don't require Chicago-style citations. 

Like Fall! Which is here in Nashville and it is Glorious. I had forgotten the joy of watching maple trees fade in soft gradients of yellow-green to burning orange. Oftentimes you can find me gazing up from beneath their branches and trying to take moody photos with my Iphone camera. As my time spent in the animation lab grows greater I frequently break it up by taking a walk on my traditional loop around Crisman, where most of the best trees are visible (catch me there, Lipscomb friends).

moody

I'm still (just barely) finding time to keep up my CDC contributions - September's was Aztec Warrior and since most of the entries were tending toward the strong, muscle-y, and/or sexy, I decided to go in a direction that was... not any of that. I was also inspired by an illustration of the typical Aztec foot soldier who only wears a padded cloth shirt and loincloth, which seems like not a whole lot of protection. Since I've been studying Anna Scott this past month I tried to channel a bunch of that research into the design, really getting funky with the stylization of the hands and feet (which are probably my favorite part of the piece). As usual, rendering was heck but after SEVERAL failed attempts I got to this place, which I was pretty happy with:

It didn't really make a splash on the Facebook group, but I don't do this for the glory (well not in my better moments, anyways). Next month is Yokai and Kami, which should be an easy one for me, but I'm feeling particularly uninspired after seeing Stasya Sher's entry which is everything I would have wanted to do, and she went ahead and done did it! 

more fall photos as a not so subtle transition into an unrelated topic

On an unrelated note, I've picked back up my hobby of being worried/excited about the future! I had actually kind of put it down for a while following a pretty harsh (yet needed and informative) portfolio review that happened to coincide with a growing sense of general disillusionment. Recently I've just felt a little burned out when it comes to my prospects of getting (and maybe even enjoying) a job at a major studio, and especially the idea of living in LA. And I think I've also grown more comfortable with the idea of doing animation just for the joy of it, and the art of it, rather than as a fanboy doing animation on a specific show/studio that I really love (though honestly that would still be most preferable). I'm also at a time in my art journey where I love to experiment, to do storyboarding AND prop design, and I'm not sure I want to get pigeonholed so quickly into doing only one kind of thing (which is usually the case at a large studio). Funny how as I get closer to working at a studio and actually Doing the Thing my feelings become more complicated and my heart a little more jaded - but I guess that's only to be expected :P I think it's also a result of me looking for work in the wrong places. A recent talk with Max Ulichney in Portfolio Dev class really opened my eyes to the benefits of smaller, less corporate studios which I think could be a good fit for my interests, and offer a greater range of places to live post-grad. In particular, Ludo Studio and Cartoon Saloon have been dazzling me with their recent work (so excited for Wolfwalkers BTW) and would offer the chance to live abroad which I think would be just so cool. And so now I'm excited to apply again! Which is a welcome change of pace since these applications take a lot of energy and time and emotional fortitude as you stare that oncoming wave of rejections in the face. But I shall stare nonetheless. 

I wish I had the time to talk more about art and less about me on this blog (a masterful balance that Nicholas Kole achieves on his blogspot) but honestly this thing is mostly my journal and after a month-long absence I just have some life-stuff I need to log first. This blog helps me remember how I felt at different points in my art journey, and I think it's good for me to remember being a somewhat jaded, rather unsure senior during covid-times. Maybe I'll look back someday and laugh. Hah! 

As always, thanks for reading this blog and staying involved with my art journey - glad to have you along for the ride and I'm excited to see where this crazy thing is gonna go :)

May you continue to weather these times with grace, courage, and creativity!

-dh

Music Recommendation: FALL JAZZ. It's like Christmas music, but for fall. I had no idea there were so many jazz songs about fall. Or that "Autumn Leaves" had lyrics. Good music for warm colors and cold rains. I've been using this playlist here-

Baby's First Storyboard Meeting - and Other Happenings

that's me in the red circle

Hello hello Bloggerfolk!

I'm back with some exciting news - I've just participated in my first story meeting ever :) After years of dreaming and reading about Cartoon Network story meetings where they pitch boards and hash out story details, it was fun to be in a similar kind of meeting - with my very own boards being screened in front of this handsome crowd! Still not totally sure if I'm allowed to say what I've been working on with this team, but I will say that's it's directed by Mike Nawrocki and based on his children's book series... so feel free to do more research if you just REALLY gotta know. I boarded about a third of it which is probably around 6 minutes of runtime altogether! This was my first time seeing my work alongside Naomi Bethel's and Tim Hodge's amazing boards, all with temp voices and music! And it's the first time many friends and classmates have seen my boards at all, and their kind comments have done much to reduce my imposter syndrome. (Even while the drawings remind me how much I still need to work on my draftsmanship... oh dear). I'm looking forward to seeing what my drawings look like when lovingly animated and paired with production backgrounds. Aside from GBR it will be my first time experiencing that too!

Oh and that character design that I was heavily hinting about in that last post is done! Here she is:

featuring the universal skating rink carpet

I've been listening to '80s music all summer so even though there were a few other concepts I almost chose, this one stuck! It was also a good chance to design a female animal character, which I don't often do. And honestly, I've been a little afraid to. There's such a wealth of offputting, uncanny, and flat-out-bad art of female animal characters and even icons of the genre still manage to mess it up (most notably the Blacksad comics). For this character I looked a lot at Shiyoon Kim's Gazelle designs from Zootopia - one of the few female characters that uses natural animal shapes and can still play the part of a stylish pop star. 

And even I messed up - there's a fully inked drawing of this character (that you will never see :) ) where she basically looked like an animal head on a human body. Gross. Somehow this alternate pose just worked better, and allowed me to show off her animal elements more - namely that long neck and hooves. And I would be remiss not to mention John Loren, who saved the rendering and color of this piece with a crazy good paintover(s). In a period where I've become increasingly frustrated with my rendering ability, I'm thankful for someone like John who can step in and make my life a little easier and my work a lot better. It's a big reason why I, now more than ever, recommend getting into a solid art-community, whether at a school or on Discord! 

In other recent news I've fallen hard for Lackadaisy, and binge-read the entire thing last weekend. Like many of my other tastes and interests I've stumbled upon it perhaps a decade too late, but I'm here for the party (which in this case means bootlegging cats in an alternate 1920s St. Louis). With all the buzz about a recent animated film coming up I figured it was finally time to test out the source material, and it did not disappoint. In particular, the dialogue is so smartly written - I don't know if it's due to jargon of the period or just the writer/artist's impressive command of vocabulary, but these cats talk GOOD. They also have great acting and expressions, especially for animal characters. And did I mention it's a story starring animal characters? So it's probably no surprise that I like it so much ;)

And this weekend I got to go on a little trip to Burgess Falls, actually my second time going there, but I don't think I've talked about it here before. Some friends and I had a lot of fun relaxing in the creek and small waterfalls, all while trying to avoid the rangers who were very much against that idea. We also explored Cookeville, which I've driven past dozens of times yet never bothered to visit. And who knew it contained this amazing neon sign!

so retro in the best way possible

As my friends Parker and Olivia can attest to, I stared at this mesmerizing sign for probably much too long on multiple occasions. And we were even blessed by a nighttime thunderstorm which when combined with this sign made me feel like I was in a noir movie. All that was missing was a trenchcoat, a haunted backstory, and a dozen egg creams... 

What else have I been up to? I went to church in person for the first time since quarantine started. We had a (very small) welcome back party for a friend who got out of quarantine/isolation. And I've been going to the farmer's market every Tuesday night! Lots of nice little things amongst these lingering tides of quarantine. 

I've also been catching little bits of Lightbox Online when they've fallen through the cracks of my otherwise packed schedule - Nicholas Kole's been doing some great talks and I plan on listening to the recordings over the next few weeks as I draw. And speaking of drawing... that's probably what I should be doing right now. I've got a pile of color thumbnails and the ever looming work of thesis still to tackle. But thanks for letting me share my decidedly niche interests in animal character design and tales of feline bootlegger-y with you today! 

Hope you're continuing to weather these times with grace, courage, and creativity!

-dh

Music Reccomendation: Aedan recently showed me Josh Ritter's "Be of Good Heart" and it's so good I cry almost every time I hear it. Vintage, autumnal, with well placed... oboes?? anyways it's real good

Last First Day (of school) Ever!

Hi all!

No art to post today, just wanted to write a little something to mark the occasion - it's my last first day of school ever! Senior year has begun, and I'm off to a roaring start with ... just one class to attend today. Just like everything else this year my class schedule is a bit wonky - with three of my classes meeting only once a week, this semester is gonna require a lot of discipline in order to stay on track and make good use of the numerous and lengthy plots of free time I expect to find dotted across my schedule. 

But I do have art on the way! I've been working on this month's Character Design Challenge while not working move-in shifts and I think she's almost done! The prompt this month was "animal skatepark" - after last month's disappointing/challenging fairy prompt, I felt like they were really throwing me a bone with this one. Speaking of that fairy prompt... I don't think I ever posted it here! So ha - we DO have art to post today!

Anyways, animal characters are much more my cup of tea. I've even been getting some help from John Loren (resident jellybots discord teacher and paint-over master) who helped a ton with my dino rider design a couple months back. Should be good!

So far school's going fine (thanks for asking!) but it's really too early to tell. Unfortunately covid has taken a lot of the oomph out of the celebratory start of the year but we're hanging in there and actually going to class! Which, in this crazy world, is kinda a Big Deal. And in RA meeting tonight we had a words of affirmation session which was just what the doctor ordered after a long and very draining move-in week. So I'm feeling a little warm and fuzzy right now, and full of cheap Monday-night tacos. Not a bad way to start a year! 

To my fellow students, best of luck! May you continue to weather these times with grace, courage, and creativity.

-dh

Checking In with a Troll

 Hi all!

I wanted to make a little post since I recently drew this guy and wanted to share him here:

i just think he's neat

He's my design for a Hilda troll - the show's social media was doing a trolls design challenge and it was the perfect low pressure prompt to fit in while on the many breaks that have been happening during RA training. A combination of mostly online training sessions and a new RHD with a different leadership style have meant that we have a surprising amount of free time (which was NOT the case last year). In reality, there are very few things that are like last year. And it's been tough! Some of my favorite RHDs (RA bosses) quit and moved off campus, my best friend resigned from being an RA and moved off campus, and of course there's loads of covid info and worry to deal with. I'm also adjusting to wearing a mask throughout much of the day which was not the case at home... 

Around this time last year my work involved a lot of furniture moving and physical exhaustion, but this year's burden looks to be more on the emotional and mental side. There have been some tough days, some real downer Zoom training sessions, and it's weird being on campus yet still being so isolated from the other RA teams. It's not going to be like junior year, and that makes me kinda sad. Cause junior year rocked. I got to make a short film, hang out with a large RA community, go to plays and christmas tree lightings and Hutchmoot. And this year just seems ... not like that. 

Funny how all the optimism and gratitude of my previous post would be tested pretty much immediately - I guess it's one thing to be excited about returning to community but then another stay excited when that community is much different or less than you imagined. It's a challenge to be grateful for the food when you're still a little hungry, if you know what I mean. 

Some things are like last year. I've had several long talks with old friends. The girl RAs are putting up with building frustrations and general chaos. Despite being a new hire the the Johnson RHD makes things feel just like they used to be with her overflowing (even if unintentional) sense of humor. And I think as move-in day gets closer, and with it my animation friends, things may start to feel less strange and worrisome. As I watched the animation upperclassman zoom the other night I was reminded that this week of training isn't college. College for me is RAs and animators. And musicians. And everyone else who makes up campus that is not here yet (which this year, will include my brother!) And even those off campus who have made this time feel special. 

This school year is going to be different, and hard. It may not even be all on campus. But it's the year we're given. I'm going to mourn the loss and seek the present joy, strive for contentment and yet avoid apathy. I won't do it perfectly, and I'm really hoping the adventurous and even optimistic attitude I cultivated during the summer won't vanish during this new season. Cause despite it all, I'm still really excited about the future. I still want to get out there, live life, and draw All the Things. It's just difficult to balance that with all the caution (both well-advised and excessive) that's telling me to stay in, lock down, and wait this thing out. 

I'm not going to attempt to resolve that moral quandary now, but will be figuring it out with each new day here on campus - and hopefully there will be many. To my school friends - I'm excited to see you guys soon!

May we continue to weather these times with grace, courage, and creativity.
-dh

Show Recommendation: I've been watching the British comedy game show Taskmaster a TON over the past month. Although the humor may feel a little foreign at times, watching entertaining people finding inventive ways to tackle crazy tasks makes the show a fun watch for anybody! The show's official account has put several seasons on YouTube for free, so you don't need to pay a subscription or resort to piracy to watch it!

The End of the Longest Summer

dino racers - july's CDC

I've now reached the end of what has been my longest and last summer break ever. (And I'm counting March, April, and May as part of this summer, because my mind was totally on summer break the second I was sent home from school.) It was wonderful to spend so much time with my family, work on personal improvement, and play a delightfully large amount of badminton games under the sunset. Of course, Covid sucked, the news was bad, and I've lived in constant threat of my senior year being cancelled. But I'm tried my darnedest to make lemonade out of Covid-lemons. (you should probably not drink that lemonade, by the way.) 

This has actually been one of my most productive summer breaks ever, perhaps because I set weekly and monthly goals rather than summer long ones (which gave me much less time to procrastinate). I had the time to read a few books (last two Lord of the Rings, Adorning the Dark, Desert Solitaire, and the Wind in the Willows). I'm actually quite happy to look back on the three online classes, five character design challenges, sundry fanarts, and various portfolio pieces I was able to do. Maybe I'm becoming more adult? Or better at keeping deadlines? Or maybe it's just the benefit of being given a few extra months and being forced to spend them at home without friends? Who knows. But as someone who places a lot of value on achievement and doing and progression, it's nice to see that I didn't just sit on my bum all this summer.

In fact, I went to the opposite extreme. Being stuck at home produced very strong urge to get OUT and live life in a way that was full, exciting, and fulfilling. This was satisfied in small ways by running and biking and exploring new areas of my rural neighborhood before it becomes fully developed and paved over by actual neighborhoods. And also in big ways, like driving across the United States and seeing the beauty of the desert for the first time. Which, ironically, involved a lot of sitting on my bum. 

It's strange in such a dark time to see so many pinpricks of light. Lots of little wins, and happy days amidst the general chaos and frustration of this present era. I've been featured two more times on the Character Design Challenge site (and once on their Insta!), been offered a freelance story position, won an ASIFA scholarship, and got to try out for a very exciting super secret opportunity! 

I say all this not to brag, but to log God's faithfulness while in the middle of a very dark time. Perhaps I've been able to to see these evidences of God's faithfulness more clearly because the world has felt more crappy recently. Either way, God has been faithful, both in good times and bad. Praise Him! And if/when more bad times come, times when my work is seen by no one or I barely feel like working at all, I'd like to be able to look back at this post, remember, and hope. And rest in the assurance that my worth is not found in how much I do or create or win, but in Christ. Which is something that I tend to forget :P

Cause the future is very uncertain, and success is not guaranteed! I'm about to go into my senior year of school, and as if the question of where I will go after graduation wasn't uncertain enough, now there's Covid-world I have to deal with! But God has been faithful this summer, providing opportunities where there seemingly was none, and I'll have to see what He has in store for this next exciting stage of my life. It's sure to be an adventure, and after this summer, I'm ready for it!

But for the time being, I'm excited to go back to school and attempt to establish some level of community. That's probably what I've missed most about being at Lipscomb. I was thankful to find an online community to be a part of this summer (Nicholas Kole's Jellybots Crew), and would be remiss to end this article without talking about them. They've become my at-home-studio-mates, providing friendly advice and banter, and it's been refreshing to be part of an art community even while so distanced from my physical art community at Lipscomb. I hope to stay a part of this community even while reconnecting with my Lipscomb one. But I'm also very excited to get burgers and see faces and maybe even get a little annoyed when someone plays their music too loud in the art lab - you know, all the good things that come with a physical, in-person community. 

And to that note, I should probably go- I'm moving in today and I'm not going to take even moving boxes in the Nashville heat for granted. If this year is any example, nothing is guaranteed to us except God's grace, so I'm going to try to enjoy every second of it and every bite of cafeteria food. 

May you continue to weather these times with grace, courage, and creativity. Until next time!

-dh 

Music Recommendations: Most of Cory Wong's recent work has been fantastic, but I particularly like Bluebird. If you ever wanted to hear mandolin funk, here it is! I also listened to his breakdown video for the song, where he talks about his reluctance to follow up an incredible mandolin solo with a guitar solo of his own which (tangent time) is really similar to how I felt on my recent storyboarding job! Working alongside Naomi and Tim, both incredible artists and story people, I quickly started feeling like my scratchy, rather off model boards failed to live up to the appeal and charm of the rest of the storyboards. This may have been mostly in my head, since Tim and the director seemed fine with the quality of my boards (hard to tell exactly over email), but I couldn't help but feel a little out of my league. But as Cory says in the video, "it's not a competish." As long as my boards or his solo are contributing successfully to the impact of overall piece, it doesn't really matter whose particular parts looked a little bit better. They're all serving the same goal.

Not at Home

Hi all!
As usual, it's been a while, but not as usual I have been all over the place! Literally! (and somewhat metaphorically I guess, but thankfully more literally than metaphorically.) I thought this summer was going to be so boring but I'm glad God had other plans - mainly a cross country road trip followed by a more stationary stay in the Smoky Mountains. I'll start with the road trip - me and some school friends travelled to LA (the city not the state) with our brave boy Sam Abner who's staking his animation claim out there. I always imagined doing a cross country road trip while in college - experiencing the romance of the open road, eating a bad hamburger while sitting on the hood of a yellow convertible, chasing the sunset while listening to something vaguely vintage - you know, that kind of trip. And I'm pretty sure our trip checked at least a few of those boxes. 

the DUDES: Joel, Aedan, Sam, and me

Our drive took us across the American Southwest, taking several stops along the way. While doing so I quickly realized that almost all my preconceptions about what a southwestern road trip would be like were shaped by (1) Blacksad comics (2) the Route 66 Overwatch map and (3) the esteemed and not-Oscar-winning movie Cars. All these present a very nostalgic and very 60's view of the southwest, which has not really stuck around in 2020. In every state was the same chain businesses, with a conspicuous absence of chrome plated diners and sketchy, but very charming, motels. (For the record, we did stay in a sketchy motel on this trip but it was NOT charming.) All the tourist traps had been sprung and were withering away with peeling paint and no cars in the parking lot. By about day two I was realizing that my idea of the classic American road trip may had just rode out with the ghost of the cowboys. 

But that's not to say it wasn't a great trip, or that we DIDN'T see actual cowboys (in an In-and-Out Burger, no less). Although the roadside businesses may have become homogenized and somewhat unremarkable the natural wonders and views were still stunning. I was surprised how each state had a different landscape that changed almost the second you crossed the borders: marshy forests in Arkansas, Texan wind turbines scattered amidst amarillo fields, New Mexico's scrubland overshadowed by purple mesas, and finally trees, pine trees, again in western Arizona. We also stopped along the way at several natural landmarks which were my favorite part of the drive. 

We hiked through the red sandstone base of Palo Duro Canyon, and on the way there I also DESTROYED the only tumbleweed we saw when it tumbled in front of my car. 

palo duro

the artist in the wild

The hidden gem of the trip was Petrified Forest National Park which offered views not only of petrified wood (very cool, predictable), but also painted desert vistas (surprising!) Aedan and I opted to take the scenic route through this one and I do not regret it. 

Joel and I paid slightly too much too much to look down into the ever so big Meteor Crater.

those are people way down there in the bottom right

And the last major stop was THE Grand Canyon, which was just so immense it was hard to believe it wasn't a painting or something. The canyon stretches so far out of sight that you almost lose track of the space and end up compressing it in your mind. I would love to hike down into it on a future visit and really feel the grandness of the place. 

that's me way down there in the white shirt

I had never really thought I'd make it to the Grand Canyon but I'm glad I did!

And all this was before we made it to LA, where we got to hang out with good friends, play a lot of smash, and eat amazing takeout. We were stuck at home for pretty much the whole time but it was a great group of people to be stuck at home with! And we did get out a couple times to get food, walk around town, and see the sequoias. Which were really, really big! Hard to believe they weren't a prop or something - after seeing imitations of world wonders as a child at Disney World most of my adult wonder is found in the fact the real thing is in fact real. A strange twist of experience only possible in our American world of entertainment, I guess. 

I turned 22 while out in LA - and since this is my one chance to make this reference, yes I am really feeling 22. Which in my case means I've now lost the "I'm an adult and it's cool" swagger of 21, and instead I've been thinking a lot about what's being left behind in childhood. How things are different and a new stage of life is beginning. It's that kinda of early John Mayer energy (Room for Squares album) when you think about your parents getting older, that your childhood home is owned by someone else now, and that without really realizing it you are now older than every Stranger Things kid and if an '80s mystery bike adventure does somehow become a part of your future it will be accompanied by an unshaven beard and worries about your career. This feeling was perhaps even more amplified by my recent playthrough of Night in the Woods, which really captures a bit of what I feel when I come home each summer and despite it still being home, things are just different. I've wanted to play it since it came out in 2017, which coincidentally was also the year I graduated high school, my family moved, and I went to college... big changes.

take a moment away from my existential dread to enjoy this delightful badgerclops cake my friends made

I've felt this way each summer I come back to North Carolina - kinda like Mae in Night in the Woods it takes coming back home to reconnect with and reassess my childhood and current state of Being an Adult. And often it makes me a little bit sad, since I'm not a big fan of change and also wish I had enjoyed childhood just a bit more before it all went away.

Then I go to college, forget about all that, and love being an adult again. Because I'm freaking 22! And I can drive across the country, and smoke pipes, and wax nostalgic, savoring these new moments as I wish I'd savored childhood. And even though this is in some ways a sucky time to be a young adult with big dreams (most of which require some amount of non-quarantine and un-social distance) I still want to get out there and do Cool Stuff! I've tried to avoid writing about the many ways covid affected our trip - from day one we were having covid scares and having to change plans, although everyone ended up ok and healthy - because honestly I'm just so done with being bummed about covid and I'm ready to find new ways to thrive in this new world. After naively thinking that this whole thing would go away after 1-2 months in quarantine, I've had to come to grips with the fact that covid is here to stay and the rest of my life's story will be different for it. But guess what - I'M HERE TO STAY TOO. And to that point, I'm gonna live my life! I'll be safe about it, I'll be informed - cause I want you to live your life too, but I'm not gonna watch Netflix and work remotely for the better part of my 20s. I'm gonna wear the raddest mask and go do STUFF. And to that point, here's some pictures of me trying to do that during my other trip this summer, to the Smoky Mountains. (nailed that transition, daniel)

these bikes were like real life mariokart

linville gorge

Shortly after my LA trip I got to go to the mountains with my family - after not seeing them for two weeks it was great to get a lot of time with them again! I hiked through wilderness and creeks, taking lots of reference pictures for my Super Secret Senior Short Film. The Smoky Mountains are such a nostalgic place for me, which is a big reason why I'd like to tell a story that's set there. 

There's a lot more to tell, and you can ask me about it next time I see you. But now I'm back home with lots to do - I'm getting ready for another year as an RA (somehow I did not realize that I go back to school on the 8th) and I've also just been hired to storyboard! It's remote freelance work but I'm working with people I like doing something I like. Which I think is pretty cool. I should have more art to share by next time - but take a peek at my portfolios in the meantime! I just updated my visual development one with some new props I've been working on this summer. Summer is always my little prop design time where I beef out that part of my portfolio, and I even got to do a collab with my brother on one!

Until next time, may you continue to weather these times with grace, courage, and creativity! AND GO ROCK IT PEOPLE CAUSE IT'S 2020!!
-dh



Music Recommendations: Still listening to Sammy Rae - this time her singles Whatever We Feel and Denim Jacket. Very good and groovy!

Also three of my favorite people who also happen to be all siblings and all Petersons are making an album, and to that end, a kickstarter! I think it's going to be some really great stuff and I'm excited to hear it :)

Art Fear - and conversely, Art Courage

Hi all! 

I've been away for a while working on art and reflecting upon world events - it's no short order to say that a lot has happened since my last post! I've been trying to do my due diligence and educate myself as much as possible - but in the meantime, I hope you feel welcome at the Roost, no matter who you are! I want to do my very best to show love to all y'all with my words and art, but if/when I make mistakes, whether here or on Insta, send me an email and let's talk about it! Although I have been cooking up a longer post that gets deeper into art philosophy and/or the state of the world, while I was drawing yesterday I encountered something that I thought would make for a good little post on a topic that's important to me: art fear.

I'm scared pretty much every time I set out to do a new piece. As an artist, I always have a platonic ideal of the artwork I'm about to begin in my head and the entire process seems to be an attempt to not fumble that sportsball. Are the shapes as pushed as they could be? Is this pose as dynamic as possible? Is that line in the just right spot? Working digitally with nearly unlimited edit-ability helps me get closer to that image in my head, but it also fuels these tendencies because few marks are truly definite. For me, drawing frequently becomes an attempt to not mess up, rather than a joyful and haphazard exploration. I imagine that as I get better at drawing and I can nail the right lines more intuitively then I will be able to draw like that, but right now I almost feel like I'm working damage control or handling a very fragile art package through the art process. And with the pressure to make something "post-able" by the end, I'm even more cautious knowing that my art will be subject to the (brief, though important) scrutiny of what could be hundreds of people. 

I also find fascinating that a person's identity is often reflected in this part of their art making process. My friends who are typically less methodical and more spontaneous in life tend to go free-wheelin'-cowboy style when it comes to slinging paint. I'm a much more routine-oriented and obsessive-compulsive person, so I tend to like coloring inside the lines, a careful placement of elements, and rigorous double-checking throughout the process. Sometimes, this approach leads to carefully constructed pieces with high attention to detail, but sometimes it just leads to something that feels insincere, or even fearful. 

As such, I'm fascinated by artists whose work leans heavily to the spontaneous side - work that's based on gesture, almost unfinished at times. Work that exudes confidence even if it doesn't always stick the landing. Art that takes risks - for better or worse. James Woods is a good example - his lines are as loose as silk BUT (and this is a big one) there are very few of them. Usually you'll see loose lines in packs (evidence of the artist searching for the form) but James defines his characters with apparent quickness and boldness. This level of confidence takes practice, but almost on an equal level, guts. 

james woods

Louie Zong makes art that's at times uber simple and childlike - yet it still looks good. Louie's draftsmanship is pretty rudimentary, but his use of texture and color elevates what at first glance could seem simple, or even wrong. 

you knew i would use the wind in the willows piece, didn't you?

And I spent the better part of yesterday pouring over Anastasiia Platoshyna's art - which although most of her work is filled with meticulous patterns, she does have the guts to post something like this:

You can see that it's shot through with these loose ink lines that don't always line up with the coloring or fully enclose elements of the figure. And the left hand is barely even colored in! This image is clear, it seems finished, and yet... it's not! And I'm pretty sure that Stacy had the time to color that hand in. But instead, she left in these numerous imperfections to create this mixed-media feeling piece that's just so cool.

Even my friend Naomi Bethel does this. I loved her recent Velma art because of the shapes, but also because of how you can clearly tell that the sweater was scribbled in - no fill bucket tool required.

I guess what I'm really seeing in all these artists is a willingness to be wrong, make mistakes, AND still put those pieces of art out for public view. And even though they all have the power of digital editing, they choose to leave mistakes and gaps and wrong marks in their pieces. To me this kind of art feels like a last second basketball shot or a hail mary football pass - and it's amazing when an artist can consistently thread the line between an unfinished kind of bad and a messy kind of good. As I mentioned before, I suspect some of this is due to the artist already being pretty skilled at what they do. If you're great at basketball, you're gonna be at least a little better at buzzer-beaters than the next guy. But there's always a chance for failure, especially when you act quickly and take risks. There's reason to fear. Yet to still try, and to share this kind of stuff online is to me an example of art-courage. 

I applaud them. But all this does make it really difficult for me to study these artists. Cause although I can try to replicate what I see on the page, it takes that sense of courage to make an accurate study. It also begs the question of if you can analytically study and reproduce something that's intuitive and spontaneous... but I want to learn, so I guess I'm going to try. I almost laugh at myself as I slowly and carefully try to recreate a stroke that I knew took half a second to paint by the original artist. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? And trying to incorporate the principles and recklessness of these artists in my own work isn't just hard, it's kinda scary. But I think it's still worthwhile. 

Over the past few months I've been doing the Character Design Challenge, as you probably know. And although I didn't set out to do it this way, each challenge piece has been a pretty significant experiment into a new style or technique I wanted to try out. I've been testing a lot of things for the first time while making these pieces. I've been creating new Procreate brushes. Establishing whole new workflows. And I have been so surprised by the results of these pieces. Each one, regardless of its objective artistic merit, has felt like a big step forward my artistic process. Perhaps I've been showing more art courage. Or maybe it's just the result of careful study. It's probably both. However, yesterday I forgot all this and had a faceplant when trying to make a little piece inspired by Stacy's art. 

I wanted to do a little portrait about my new haircut, using a lion character since I don't particularly like drawing my face and I've been re-reading Blacksad's Amarillo recently. I wanted to see if I could take at least a little bit of that Stacy style and flair. But when I finished my first attempt, I couldn't help but be unimpressed. It seemed like something I'd made before. I'm only showing it here to make a point - I don't like this piece. Although this piece is using the right brushes and superficially has the same techniques as Stacy's piece above, it has lost a lot of the charm.

But after finishing it, I realized that it was probably more important to capture the sense of courage and life that's in Stacy's art, not the exact line patterns. I put on fast music, and tried to draw all the linework over the course of one song, and finish the piece after two or three. I used the lasso tool to border in the colors and was off to the races. Although I restart a few times (old habit), one sprint eventually finished here:

A marked improvement. A courageous attempt, I daresay. The shapes could be a little better. But I still really like this piece. 

. . .

Art-fear is something I've struggled with for a while and this struggle will likely continue - part of me thinks it's just in my personality. One of my friends once described my art style as "tightly controlled looseness" which coincidentally (or not) is pretty much how I live my life. While I think there's still totally a place for tightly controlled art (and I will likely continue making it) maybe I'll work up to the confidence where I can also be a paint slingin' cowboy someday. That could be cool. 

If you're also working though some art-fear I can't help but recommend Nick Kole's post on the subject. If anything, this post is hopefully a chapter 2 to the great things he started talking about back in 2013. 

Hope this has helped you, and maybe this look into my head has assured you that you aren't alone in feeling this kind of way! Making good art is hard (and that's an understatement).

May you continue to weather these times with grace, courage, and creativity!

-dh



P.S.
A quote that I really wanted to stick in here but couldn't find the place is from Peterson's Adorning the Dark where he says "intention trumps execution." This was a real breakthrough for me to hear, and perhaps a proverbial reason why messy and unfinished art can still look good and inspire me to such a high degree. It also gives me confidence to go out and make my thesis film!

P.S. (Level 2)
Music Rec. for the week: I've just been LOVING Sammy Rae's The Good Life and have been listening to it repeatedly since the beginning of this whole quarantine business. I'm pretty sure it's going to be my Spotify album of the year. Aside from it just being an amazing EP, I can't really explain exactly why I like it so much except for that it has a kinda vintage sound that complements the rest of my music taste. And the chorus of "The Feeling" is about as close to euphoria as you can get in a song. If you don't believe me, try listening to it while running on a sunny day, or driving if you really don't like running. 

P.S. (Level 3 TOP SECRET)
What was with all the sports metaphors in this post? Has quarantine awakened my long dormant, if not extinct, interest in sport?