My Thoughts on AI Art (But Mostly I Talk About Christmas)

Hello Bloggerfolk - it's Christmastide. Merry Christmas :)

It's been a busy, strange past couple weeks. On one hand, I'm riding the high of the most Christmas spirit I've felt in years, and I'm feeling suitably holly AND jolly. Wasn't able to get a tree for my apartment this year, but my lights are up and I've been watching a bunch of Christmas and Christmas-adjacent movies. Rise of the Guardians has been a particular favorite this year, for a variety of reasons - its swirling, dynamic action+camera, its mythical guardians with whimsical powers, its Easter Rabbit who is Australian(!!!), and its childlike optimism in the simple delights of life. I'd love to make something like this, and I've been taking plenty of notes for future projects... it's definitely in the list of Movies I Wish I Could Just Directly Rip Off But That Would Of Course Be Stealing and That Is Bad. And fanfiction is NOT an option - I know what Tumblr did to this movie.

Speaking of stealing, I've been watching the whole war over AI-created art unfold over the past few days... I barely have enough time for this blog, much less Twitter drama, so I'm staying largely out of it. I make art because I like to seek out pleasing lines and shapes, pull characters out of my head, and glorify God, none of which AI art directly threatens or can help me with. I do find it puzzling that people go to bat for the AI, for it's not like its feelings are getting hurt, it can't thank you for your support, and if it really works it won't really need fleshy advocates to prove its point. Anyways... I'm just gonna leave you with this Jurassic Park gif which pretty accurately sums up how I feel about the whole thing:

Work has been an awkward touch and go of crunch and veg... I'm still not sure what kind of month December is supposed to be for me. Is it a cozy, restful winter's nap? Or prep time for a portfolio boosting, career navigating, project creating kind of new year? I've done a bit of both. I decided to go for it and submit a project to the Sony Talent League, an initiative to help boost independent creators. Although I do like living the exciting, ritzy life of a Nashville Indie Animator (kidding about the ritzy part) it has proved to be dearth of fundage and mentorship, two things the STL is able to provide. It would have been easy enough to just submit Bearpuncher and call it a day, but you know me! I can't have it be THAT easy! (Editor's Note: It also would have been against the rules.) So being December and all I spent some time consolidating an idea I've pondering based on my Christmas Illustration from last year. It's been turning into a surprisingly personal story and one that I hope to get out to you guys, in one way or another. It's still about Ivan and Hollie, two reindeer air traffic controllers, but I hope to use it as a way to talk about vocation, dreams, and leaving art school. And to use it as an excuse to collab with some jazz musicians for the score!

Ever since the whole Strange World/Nicholas Kole debacle of November 2022 I've become more afraid of putting my unpublished ideas out there on the internet. But this might be the one time where my blog's relative obscurity is actually an asset, because I think I can still post speculative stuff like this! Enjoy it while it lasts, my friends! Here's some new headshots of the main characters, riffing on some Shiyoon Kim vibes:

ivan

hollie

It's been fun figuring out who these characters are, finding emotions for Ivan that aren't "grumpy anime boy," and doing a bit of worldbuilding. And RESEARCH! Researching for art projects is my favorite way to experience the Internet. I love going on thrill rides down rabbit trails, trawling the archive sites, going to the dark and dusty corners no one cares to visit. It’s a hunt to find the next link, the next term to Google, it feels like synapses connecting in the brain and a big rollicking adventure. It's way less dull than social media, because nothing is tailored to your whims and most everything has Horrible Web Design. Awesome.

What was less awesome was the mini-burnout that hit after submitting the pitch. I was getting Bearpuncher/Art School flashbacks as I had spent every spare moment to get it done, finishing it just before the deadline. Artistically, I was spent, and socially too - I had to cancel plans last week (something I loathe to do) after realizing that I hadn't had a free night in over a week and I just couldn't keep going like this. The world keeps on pulling, bills keep on coming, and I still want to make art in the middle of all that... I think a big goal for 2023 will be finding a way to make all this sustainable. To get stuff done, but have times to be still and recieve God's peace.

I've been thinking about 2023 a lot already - since my family is going skiing between Christmas and New Years I'm having to get all my lengthy brooding sessions in early if I'm to write that highly anticipated year-end recap post (highly anticipated by ME, at least!) 

Thanks as always for your readership! Hoping to have a new Christmas Illustration ready by Christmas Eve and then the recap shortly after. See y'all then...

-dh

PS: If Internet Research Adventures sound fun to you, definitely watch Kevin Perjurer's most recent documentary about the Disney Channel Theme which captures that experience perfectly and is genuinely fantastic. 

The Binding of Fenrir

Hello again! I'm back, and much sooner than you expected, no?

The past few posts here on the Roost have been very much life-updatey, which is totally fine. There is a lot of life stuff going on right now that I feel a great need to set down on digital paper. But I claim to be the proprietor of an art blog, so I think it's time to talk about some art as well! To be honest, talking about the art/philosophy side of things scares me a little bit more, cause it takes more thought and preparation to write, and sometimes I just don't want to put in that kind of effort :P

But today is different. Cause today I have something to show! So let me give you the pitch and origin story for this piece I'm calling The Binding of Fenrir -

It's a little bit more grim than your average Daniel Haycox piece, and perhaps not as grim as it should be (I'm aware of my limitations, somewhat) but I'm pleased to present it to you and to have made a substantial piece of personal work despite being home with the ever-present temptation of the Nintendo Switch. For those wondering, it took about four days of sporadic work.

This piece is my entry in March's Character Design Challenge. For those unfamiliar, the Challenge is an international contest/facebook group where everyone can contribute one design a month based on a particular theme. Although I don't anticipate becoming a character designer someday (many others are much more gifted for that task) the Challenge provides some helpful structure to my personal work and a reason to create other than "just making something cool." Which, ironically, was essentially my motivation for making this piece. I've given up the idea of winning the challenge - I have no idea how they judge this thing, winners are sometimes far better and other times about as good as what I can produce (I'm aware of my limitations, somewhat). But the Challenge nevertheless provides an arena where I can display work in a community, and that is still worthwhile in my book :)

The Challenge theme for this month was Norse Gods - which I was excited to try. Despite my familiarity with the myths, I don't think I've ever actually drawn one. Due to my recent study of Anna Scott's work and canines (seriously, I'm working on an uncommon amount of dog projects right now) you probably could have guessed that I wanted to do a take on Fenrir, the monstrous wolf doomed to gobble up Odin and be A Pretty Big Deal In General during Ragnarok. But I wanted to depict him at his lowest moment, when he's finally bound by the gods using the magic ribbon Gleipnir. It's this really cool contrast between a delicate, unassuming ribbon that's holding back the strongest, baddest monster. And although that's where I began, the emotional element of the piece started to become about betrayal. Even though Fenrir probably would have eaten Odin anyways (that's the problem with prophecies) I imagine that the gods' betrayal and treachery is actually what cemented the badness in Fenrir's heart. This idea runs through Neil Gaiman's telling of the myth, which I referenced a lot while making this piece. Although the story should be a moment of triumph over a monster, Gaiman's telling is pervaded by sadness, especially because he builds up a friendship between the god Tyr and Fenrir. (That's Tyr's hand in Fenrir's mouth btw. Hard to recover from something like that.)

There were several things about Gaiman's telling that I could not use, and I took significant artistic license in general when concepting the piece. For one, Gaiman describes the ribbon as nearly invisible, which would obviously not be a great pick for a visual representation. I chose a light pink ribbon instead because it more directly communicated the delicate idea I was going for. Also, Fenrir should have been bound into the ground, not hung, but I felt like the hanging symbolized Fenrir's helplessness in this moment a bit better.

And from there I was off to the races! And by that I mean the incredibly daunting task that is Making the Thing. I tried to find some sad music to listen to while I drew, but my music taste is so incredibly upbeat that the closest thing I could find in any of my playlists was Jess Ray's "Humble Heart." So I listened to that a couple times and then just tried to make do with other stuff.

I've been in an interesting place with regards to style recently, and I wanted this piece to be a real step forward into something new. I've been most influenced by Saira Vargas recently which has been a huge help to my art, but also leaves me feeling like I ought to branch out and do more detailed, rendered work. So I've been studying Anna Scott, who has such a natural sense of detail and texture without losing simplicity. In particular she has these glorious wolf characters with such rich and subtle hair textures - which you may very likely see some callbacks to in this piece.

The problem is that rendering terrifies me. I don't really know how to do it, and I'm worried about over-doing it. I also like knowing if the piece is going to work pretty early into the process, which is actually doable when working very simply. But rendering pushes that "yes, we're not gonna die" moment later into the process which is very uncomfy. But I can't stay in the boiled down, simplified zone forever. Time to move. So this piece ended up becoming a fusion of Kole, Vargas, and Scott influences, which hopefully produced something very Haycox by the end - but you'll be the best judge of that. I've prepared a couple graphs to show what I mean:

It also does this:

Which maaay prove a problem as I try to enter the industry. I just love the simplicity of TV and the richness of feature design! And perhaps in personal work like this I don't need to try to fit myself into one of the two hirable boxes, but just explore a little and figure out what the Haycox style should look like. And draw some wolves with dude's hands in their mouths. Cause I guess that's what I do now. That's my brand. 

Just kidding. Style's a weird thing, and the best metaphor I've found for it comes from a Nicholas Kole interview in Character Design Quarterly:

"I like to think of artistic style in the same way as dress-sense: with clothes, you give yourself permission to go through phases. You might try new looks as your tastes change, and shed old age-inappropriate items as you grow. All the while there will be colors, cuts, and looks that you continually gravitate towards even as things change, things you just know feel 'like you.'"

I think about this a lot when it comes to discussions of my style or others', and hopefully it's a helpful metaphor for you too! A lot of people stress about style but if you see it as something natural and already a part of you, then you can focus more on nurturing and growing it without a big sense of urgency. Also, Nicholas, if you read this blog, let me know and I'll try to avoid so many fanboy moments in the future :P That's one of the problems with writing for the internet... you just have no idea where this stuff lands! 

Hope this post finds you well, weathering these times with grace, courage, and creativity.

-dh

P.S. Comments should be working now on this blog, let me know if y'all run into more issues. 

The Right Place: A Weekend at Lightbox

Hi.

I’m back. Both here at the Roost, and home in Nashville. A lot has happened since my last post, but I’m not even sure I have time to recount that month – this past week has been crazy enough (crazy good, don’t worry). I’ve just come back from a lovely visit to Lightbox Expo, and I feel as though I’ve been hit with life experience whiplash. In short, it was a bit surreal to wake up in Central Time, see campus outside my window, and go eat in a cafeteria. My whole Lightbox trip felt very much like the journeys in The Lord of the Rings and The Wind in the Willows – a needed escape from the familiar and routine, which now at the end, are the things you’re most excited to return to. That’s the hobbit part of me, I guess. Yet as ready as I was to come back home and see familiar faces, the actual experience of it has taken some getting used to. I feel like Rat in The Wind in the Willows after his enchantment by the Sea Rat – dazed, tired, a little sad, and in dire need of a poetry-filled cure. And since I don’t write much poetry, I’m back here at the Roost.

However, this has also been a rather challenging blog post to write: I’ve been sitting on it for a day or so, trying to come up with funny quips or stellar observations - you know, typical fare here on the Roost ;) But I just don’t really know where to begin or what to say. I think it’s because I’ve had so many thoughts and experiences that they’ve all gotten tangled up in my mind - some kind of knotted yarn ball of animation bewilderment and fanboyish wonder. But if I’m not careful, that ball is going to roll away down a forgotten memory lane. I’m going to try to untangle some of it here, and capture some of what I saw and learned. This trip was too important to forget. (Also I need to ditch this yarn metaphor.)

FIRSTLY: There were a lot of unknowns in this trip. I initially didn’t know if our animation department would choose to go to CTN or Lightbox. This was Lightbox’s first year of existence too, so no one knew what it would actually be like. Even once Professor Tom did decide on Lightbox, we didn’t know where we would stay, if the trip would wreck my schedule by being a class credit, or exactly how much it would cost. While I don’t particularly like any amount of unknowns, you can’t dispute that they’re a perquisite for a good adventure. And as reluctant as I am to admit it, the unknown is where it’s often the easiest to find God. And good gracious was He there on this trip. (Buckle up – I already know this is going to be a long post).

Perhaps His first act of grace was keeping me healthy and safe during the weeks prior to the trip. You guys have no idea how much I worried about getting sick and being unable to go! I think I made some kind of idol out of this experience. But despite the sleep lost due to my excitement and anxious prepwork for the trip, I emerged ready to go Wednesday morning at 5:30am. We had a very early flight.

Landing in the Burbank airport was an especially memorable moment for me. Since this would be my first time in California, I didn’t quite know what to expect. But when I arrived it felt like I recognized it somewhat – probably due to my study of Louie Zong’s art. But what a different world from Tennessee & NC! I was thankful for the hills that surrounded the city – without rain or seasons, at least I would have some mountains to look upon. They actually were quite beautiful at sunset, too. LA also had more plants than I expected – I guess my East Coast brain assumed it was some kind of wasteland with a few animators huddling in a cave – and was thankful to find that there was still a lot of life. Talking about the weather became a familiar happening during the trip, which was perhaps fitting, since it was so different to me. Or perhaps it was because we were all awkward artists and didn’t feel like talking about photoshop brushes anymore.

Wednesday was full of joyful occurrences. I love happy reunions, and it had been a good while since I had seen my friends Naomi and Clay, who had recently moved to the area. They picked our group up from the airport and joined us for the rest of the trip. (MAJOR SHOUTOUT to them, if they’re reading, for driving us around and using up their very expensive LA gasoline). Following this reuniting, we all went straight to Disney. The Disney. The Big Dog. The Biggest Mouse. The Mouse House. Our giddiness of having just arrived in California was only amplified by the fact that we were basically standing on animation holy ground. I think this picture captures my friends and I in one of the happiest moments of the trip – grateful to be standing there, not yet worn down by the business of the expo.

When we walked inside we just happened to run into Mark Henn, Tom’s mentor (just one of many providential circumstances that were a common feature of this trip). He then took us on a pre-tour tour, thwarting the well-meaning plans of our guide, who had to find us when our tour actually began 30 minutes later. Having already signed our NDAs, Mark led us deeper into the studio where we watched the employees line up for an afternoon snack. I saw two people I thought were Paul Briggs and was pretty at least one of them was him. It was a little bit of a revelation to learn that the people at Disney were just real people, doing their job (and getting free ice cream). I had always imagined them as animation demigods, perhaps slightly glowing with talent, footsteps sizzling with drawing ability. But they were just human. The studio had been recently renovated and looked very fresh. However, the renovation had done some “spring cleaning” when it came to Disney’s hand-drawn features. Most of the art was all from Disney’s recent decade of CG films – you actually had to go to the bottom floor to find art displays from the older features. Although I love Zootopia, I missed the Bambi and the Lion King. Call me a sentimentalist, I guess.

Throughout the trip, Tom did a great job of setting up meals with animation pros – I got to dine with Bobby Chiu (creator of Lightbox; no idea how he had the time or sanity to meet us), Mark Henn, Laura Price, and Pernille Orum (which I mostly missed due to waiting in line for an expo badge). What an honor!

quick meeting with armand serrano

not actually from my instagram - credit: robert hughes

And on Friday, the Expo began.

A lot’s been said about the expo online already – and I agree with most of it. It was well organized, well executed, and well attended. I think the main highlight was that unlike other cons, this one was filled with not just fans, but fan-creators. There was a mutual fan-ship – one where an artist would say “I love your work!” to which the other artist would likely reply “I love your work too!” Even as a small artist (both in stature and online following) I was surprised by how many of these interactions I had. And to top it off everyone was very friendly.

For me, the expo was mostly about meeting my heroes – the reason why I had gone was mainly due to the deluge of “I’m coming to Lightbox” posts I had seen from nearly all of my inspirations. So I didn’t end up going to many panels (just 2) or demos (just 1), because those took me away from the show floor where most of the people were. Especially as a shy person, I wanted to give myself every opportunity to meet as many people as possible (which usually meant skipping lunch. I have since resumed luncheon-ing). Having just come from my second Heroes Con, I felt more ready to engage and not let this opportunity pass me by. So during the hours of the con, I went on a whirlwind tour of the artist tables I had marked on my must-see list (yes, I made a list - analytical left-brain Daniel wanted to come to Lightbox too). I also got to meet a few artists I knew on Instagram and had talked to before the expo: notably Luis Huerta and Karla Circe. Luis is a friend from the Jellybots community, and Karla is a fellow Bluey fan. I also got to meet Tristian Yuvienco (@trisketched), a pleasant surprise, since I didn't expect to be able to see him at the expo. And I got to (re)meet Erika Schnellert and Nicholas Kole too – and they remembered my name!?

It was wild and amazing to be in such great company for the weekend.

Lightbox was secondly about getting portfolio reviews. And while I wasn’t able to get anyone to look at my story portfolio (which was not as easy to flip through), I did get some constructive advice on my visual development portfolio. The first review I received was more cutting and negative, and while I agreed with the criticism, it made me very hesitant to show the portfolio to more people. But the next day I received a fairly positive review (some pieces were basically “90% industry level”). It was like filling a bucket up with water, realizing it has dozens of holes, but then hearing someone say “but it still holds water!” Biggest note: my recent pieces are my best ones. That may seem obvious, but what I’ve been doing recently is prop design. And a tiny, albeit cool, sword on a page wouldn’t seem to have the WOW factor that a full environment painting would. But to my surprise, I found that in both positive and negative reviews, it was the props that garnered the most praise. And they were all at the back of my portfolio. I’ve done some reshuffling since.

Nick drawing dragons on the big screen

I went to two panels – the first was Nicholas Kole’s Spyro talk. It was filled with laughter, a defense of furries, and excellent advice. The most immediately applicable tidbit was this common mistake in an artist’s mindset:

Good/positive feedback = well-meaning, but insincere lies

Harsh/negative/constructive feedback = the real stuff

I found myself thinking back on this a ton after my portfolio reviews, and it allowed me to see the truth in my good review rather than dwelling too much on my negative one. This panel was Nick his element, and likely had the best powerpoint of any of the panels at the expo. And when the lights came up after the talk I saw that it was basically the Nick fanclub/Jellybots patreon crew in attendance! So it was great to meet those guys that I had previously only known online.

On Saturday I went to the SCOOB! panel and got to meet Sara (@servalsketch) while doing so! We had a nice chat in line and got to be excited about Scoobert together :) We also sat on the front row while the panel members threw confetti and scooby snacks at us (it was a wild panel at times). The guy who gave the talk is in this visdev portfolio advice video that I have watched a lot, so seeing him in real life and not talking about “family friendly entertainment” was a little surreal.

But not everything was sunshine and well-drawn roses. RUH ROH you say – Complaining zone. Wasn’t going to Lightbox enough for you, Daniel? BE GRATEFUL, MY MAN. And to that I say heck yes, I will. It was most definitely a great experience and I have few, if any regrets. But all the other Lightbox posts I’ve read have been major gush-fests of Lightbox love and I don’t want your FOMO to get so bad that you invent a time machine or something and steal my spot in a panel line. I’m moreso doing this to have something to compare future Boxes with and to help Bobby Chiu make future events even better (if for some reason he is reading this). I’ll make it quick: Bullet Point Round!

• Unless a (well known) artist had a table, it was difficult to meet them. There were several people I wanted to meet but couldn’t cause there wasn’t any great way to approach them. It made the guest list a little deceptive, since anyone famous was listed (not just the tablers).
• Signs outside showed badge pickup times for exhibitors, not general public. Although this did lead to a nice conversation with a talented artist, that conversation happened during an hour long wait in line and I missed breakfast :(
• Saturday was packed! Most tables had a crowd and it was difficult to navigate down the aisles. I missed the relaxed, time-to-talk, space-to-walk attitude of Friday and Sunday. Also we had to leave early on Sunday to get back to class on Monday :( (not Bobby's fault)

And after every day I was totally drained! Sustained 1-on-1 social engagement with people I don’t really know yet really want to impress took a lot out of me each day. And I never fully got over my jet lag, which didn’t help. There was one night when I hung out with Clay and Naomi and I’m pretty sure that I could have fallen asleep instantly at any time if I stopped thinking about being awake. But then I would also wake up early (also due to jet lag)! And during that mini insomnia I animated this for a Lighbox dance-off contest, presented to you here in all it’s screamy glory:

It made it on screen at the event, and fellow Lipscomb friend Trea Bailey actually took home a prize!

Throughout the whole trip I felt this weird push and pull relationship with LA and the future I imagine myself having there. There were times when living in LA seemed so exciting, the prospect of a job so close, and the community of animation artists so inviting. But there would be other times when the thought of navigating traffic, moving to a totally new place, and working in darkened offices filled me with dread. I think I came away from the experience really wanting to work in LA, but not really wanting to live there. Hopefully I’ll be able to reconcile this paradox if God helps me get out to Burbank and make some cartoons.

But I do feel like LA is just “the right place” – where it’s only a matter of waiting before the right time comes along. I know Lightbox is an exaggerated example, but it just seemed so easy to make connections and meet people in what could only be described as a providential kind of coincidence. There was so much I couldn’t plan or anticipate about this trip. But God was so faithful in putting me near the right people to make it worthwhile.  I wonder if living in LA would be similar. Lightbox was definitely the right place for me to be this past weekend – and I’m glad God provided so many right times.

Hope you find your place, but thanks for choosing to be here, at the Roost, right now.

-dh